So every time I speak with someone in America, I hear a
request for a blog update (here it is!). Now, it should be known that I have
started a number of different posts all saved on my computer but haven’t
actually finished and posted them. This one is fresh.
The reason for my lack of completion of a blog post is
three-fold. One, since moving to Armenia I’ve learned that my perfectionist
tendencies are the biggest hindrance on many things in my life, one being my
writing. Two, when it was told to me that my experience as a PCV was going to
be like a roller coaster, I thought “duh.” Then I realized that this roller
coaster goes beyond all theories of physics and the twists and
turns have presented themselves at a pace that until now I did not know existed
on the Earthly plane. That said, every blog post that I’ve begun seems ancient
the next moment I attempt to finish it. Thirdly, this language balance is hard for me.
My brain has had difficulty in switching from one language to another; most of
my day is filled with extremely simplified terms and ideas and at a certain
point, you have to let some of the more complex thoughts wash away in your mind
and just hope that someone gets your gist. And this may tie in with my first
reason, but when I write (in English), some of those more complex terms insist
on putting themselves out there, only to find that they’re more jumbled in my
brain than they used to be in the days of using one language in my life.
So. I’ve been living in my village for approximately one
month now. The village is extremely small, my estimate is the size of a
football field. We have a huge highway running through it and a twenty minute
marshutni ride will take you into the middle of the capital city, Yerevan.
There are definitely plusses and minuses to my situation, as everyone has them.
There is a definite plus being so close to Yerevan. The city has all the fun
things you would expect a city to have: bars, clubs, restaurants, cafes, shops,
groceries, and the rumor is: even concerts. Additionally, at some point or another, every volunteer needs to visit the city
and I am hoping (once I have my own place) that I can offer comfortable
accommodations to those in need of a place to sleep. Another plus is that
integration in a village is far, far easier than it would be if I were living
in a larger town. There is no English spoken in my village, as there is no
English being taught in the local school. Therefore, I have been speaking more
Armenian and have had the opportunity to know a number of neighbors who have
been extremely kind and welcoming. I have had many coffee breaks with a number
of people who have done nothing but ensure my comfort and exude patience with
my process of learning the culture and language. For it, I am extremely
grateful.
Some of the not-so-fun points lie in that living in such a
small place can be a bit claustrophobic at times. At this point, I still have
another few weeks with my host family (who are AMAZING), but there is
definitely something to be said in having control over things like cooking,
eating, having company, etc. In addition, there is a lack of nature here. Due
to my proximity to the capital city and that there are no roads leaving the
village aside from the highway, I have no real forests to explore, mountains to
hike, or bodies of water to enjoy. It never occurred to me that this would be the case,
but alas. My positive spin on this aspect is that it will encourage me to visit
other volunteers throughout the country, become comfortable with traveling, and embracing the opportunity to see what a beautiful country I live in.
There are other things completely unrelated to my site that
have proven to be challenging. The thing that has been most difficult for me
here has been the eating. The food is good but of course, there are times I miss my American
meals. Having white bread three times a day, often with potatoes can be rough.
The variety of vegetables that are typically in use here are: eggplant, tomato,
and cucumber. Sometimes onions and greens are around, but not nearly as often
as the aforementioned. In addition, it is an extreme challenge to say no when
there is food on the table. And there is always food on the table. I am a
pretty healthy eater and I still hear: “Why are you not eating?” or “Just eat a
little” or “But it’s so delicious!” or “You don’t have to be hungry to eat
this.” And beyond this, I have to say "no" or "no thank you" sometimes five, six, seven, eight
times during the meal or coffee break. Never did I think that eating can be so
exhausting! I am sure that things will change once I move into a house of my
own which will likely be in about three weeks. I never was a big fan of
cooking, but it’s something I now dream about! ;)
But the overall truth is, there are a million and one other
things I could say but could never paint a full picture of my life in Armenia
as a Peace Corps Volunteer. There are days where I feel like a total outsider
who will never get a hang of the language or culture, then my host mom will say
she’s baked a cake and we’ll have a great conversation over coffee about our
dreams and what life is like in America and what life is like in Armenia and I
remember why I’m here, and all of a sudden my heart is flooded with love and
joy; like I could never imagine being any other place that right here, right
now. I am so thankful for this challenge that has not ceased in showing me
aspects of myself that are have been in desperate need for reformation, but
that is for another blog post. I will say however, that I’ve learned there
isn’t time to worry, just to take each moment as it comes and be thankful for
it; this is going to be two years that I will reflect upon for the rest of my
life. I’m going to live it to the fullest.
